What are you afraid of?

I fear that if I crack these walls open, expose the blackened underbelly of the shadows until they splinter, I will not be able to piece myself together again. I’m afraid of giving the darkness more power by allowing it to be heard. I fear exposing my soft core lest it be trampled, abused, and drained of love again from those whose only use for me is as panacea to their own lack. I fear that there will be nobody for me who knows the shade so well as to reach inside of the blackness enshrounding my light and catch my hand as I stumble my way home. That there’s no way to repair from reliving the trauma. That if I feel it all again I’m not strong enough to pull through, and that there’s nobody who has enough love to pour their faith into the cracks and help me make myself whole again. I’m afraid that if I let you in, I’ll not recover if my box of crazy turns you away.

And what if doesn’t?

Well that, my friend, that is the real question.

K.d.w June 4/17 (unedited)

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